Another in a long list of clothing I’ve seen it court that leaves me utterly gobsmacked. Again, this comes from my time as an intern in the Alamance County DA’s Office.
This guy comes in as a prosecuting witness in an assault case. The ADA is going to let me prosecute it, so she hands me the court file and sends me to go interview him. He describes how he got home from church and his step-daughter hit him over the head with a vase without any provocation or warning. We proceed to try the case and his testimony on direct examination is perfectly consistent with what he told me.
At this point, his wife gets up and testifies. For the defendant. This is the first sign that this is not going to go well.
She concedes that her daughter hit the man over the head with a vase, and that it was after he got home from church, however, she says he had been out somewhere drinking ever since church. It was after 9 o’clock at night. He was rip roaring drunk. And he’d started fondling his niece.
When I turn to look at him for his response to these startling allegations, his face is a perfect mirror of the embroidered boy on his shirt with the sheepish grin and a caption that said, “I didn’t do it.” Sigh.
“No further questions, your honor.”